♪You know it's hard out here for a Chick♪

Today's topic was supposed to be about the struggles women deal with when having to go pee. Our vaginas don't have disgusting elephant trunk like features, so any chance of peeing out in the wild is rather messy.

I've always wished for some type of magical contraption that one can just slap on and pee away. I searched and I found! Can't believe I didn't know about this before!

Ladies and Gentlemen...It is with great pleasure, that I present to you, a very funny but creative
invention...

Pretty cool, huh?! I mean, it ain't no cool girl penis you can just pull out whenever, but it's better than poppin a squat and getting pee all over ya.

Even though this is a HUGE help for those inconvenient emergencies, I still have hope that one day someone will invent a suction cup like gadget that washes, powders, and dries my lady parts.

Hate the Gays? Oppose Gay marriage?

then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you to...

GO FUCK YOURSELF

The same so called traditional alpha male roles
that sit behind computer screens, jacking off to GIRL ON GIRL PORN, while their wives are out buying groceries to cook for your one sided, ball scratchin, double standard asses, are the same men hating on LGBT and their HUMAN RIGHTS.

Here's some tissue to wipe the cum that landed on your Bible and family picture frame:) you naughty naughty little man.


To the Female body that live unhappy lives day after day, only wishing that the produce guy at the Walmart noticed you, would sweep you up and have his way with you already. Those poor soccer moms which husbands don't find desirable anymore cause you don't look like the MILF's they see at Sunday Mass. Hating females that start organizations that protest HATRED on people who they know nothing about, all because they feel homosexuals are destroying the sanctity of marriage. HAHAHA.

"SAYS SO IN THE BIBLE!!!!" dumb. This is just one of those battles that no one will come to peace with. So many religions, gods and beliefs. Seriously, do you not know how NOT SEXY you sound when you say this???!

"IT AFFECTS OUR CHILDREN!" no, it doesn't. You're the one who affects your child. You can't teach your kids how to be loving, accepting and tolerant if parent's are the ones who condone extreme hostility and hate. There is still hope tho.

"Gay education at schools?! That's an ABOMINATION!" no, that brain of yours is lol
What they need to take out of schools are two things: Religion and Math! Just kidding on the Math part lol. The curriculum at schools from preschool all through the 12th grade should focus on 10 things: 1.Speech development 2.Math 3.Science 4.Exercise (cause kids are just wayyyy to fat now and days) 5.Updated Sex Education 6.Self esteem/value 7.Respect 8.Equality 9.REALLY GOOD, REALLY HEALTHY nutritional breakfast and lunch breaks & 10.FUN COOL SHIT! (Arts, music, sports, clubs etc...) cause a happy kid is a focused kid:)

JUST KEEP RELIGION OUT OF IT! and hire really cool, really funny, open minded, smart teachers like Mr. Schuester from Glee lol

"BE LOVE AND LET LOVE BE"

You can Die-it!

In my personal fantasy of myself I'm crazy fit and see drops of sweat sliding down my perfect lady abs after a strenuous work out. I eat small portions and I don't sound like I'm getting oral while going up a flight of stairs.

I tend to daydream A LOT.

I really wanna be a healthy hot babe. First healthy, then hot. Two of the biggest challenges in my life have been: Eating right and Exercise. If I was anything in my past life, I was a YO-YO. Not a gorgeous humming bird or cocker spaniel...a YO-YO.

Being overweight fucks with all sorts of things. Sex is one of them.

(*DISCLAIMER* If you are reading my blog and are related to me or know me, do not be surprised. I have sex. If I can stand by a belief and stand by it proudly, it would be that there is no greater gift in life, than that of an orgasm.) Anywhos...

Another would be my health. That one most importantly. I've been feeling sick lately. In pain, back hurts, stomach and arms are starting to look unattractive. It ain't looking like baby fat no mo lol I think my body may shut down one day if I don't end this now.

It's funny...I always think "If I find the perfect exercise shoes, I can totally do this!"

I don't wanna end this post with an overly worn out motivational phrase like: I can do this! or The time is now!
So I won't.

my ass fell asleep and the tingly sensation has traveled up my back. The End.

Just Sayin...

Nothing saves you a trip to the Plastic Surgeon
(not to mention thousands of dollars), like wearing a sports bra, people.
Just have it on allllllll day and night and BAM! Perky boobies (o)(o) no anesthesia required:)