chubby kid sister

HOT STUFF

2011-08-28T20:50:00.001-07:00

The Devil has farted in Los Angeles. Please God, pee on us.

Power's out in my neighborhood and it's 89° in my room.

Candles don't seem as romantic
to me anymore...with them being my only form of light at the moment.

Kinda scared cause I watched "Don't be afraid of the dark" two nights ago and well, with my hallway pitch black and all, well, you get my point.

Trying to fall asleep completely naked isn't working either cause: 1.I'm afraid someone will open my door and see what a REAL woman looks like lol
(why don't you just lock your door?)
Cause, I'm scared of EARTHQUAKES! What if I get locked in! Don't ask.

2. Someone walks in (younger brothers or my DAD! omg! ) aaaaand sees my vagina full frontal doing the splits status while I sleep. LMAO.

I HATE this weather:(

SUN-OF-A-BITCH it's HOT!

2011-06-23T18:50:00.000-07:00

I can't say I'm a fan of Summer. I don't like to break a sweat unless it's in a attempt to exercise lol Now, I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I'm technically "OBESE" for my height, but I could be wrong lol Because I'm certain, If I weighed 120-140 LBS, I'd still bitch about how fucking hot it is outside hahaha

To add insult to injury, I wear a two piece scrub uniform to work and this terrible weather causes my uniform to stick to my body making me look like Danny Devito as The Penguin in Batman Returns.
(ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES IN THE WORLD BTW)

Happy Fathers Day

2011-06-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

I love you Papa ♥

the truth shall set you free

2011-06-16T22:27:00.001-07:00

I seriously was COMPLETELY aware I was away from blogging for that long lol

I blame this guy right here
and this guy too
iPhone 4 problems

and eating catastrophic amounts of food in slow motion

causing me to turn into a potato

so lets have a one of a kind ribbon-cutting ceremony to inaugurate the resurrection of that who was zombie for a whole year...ME!
Now in the words of the Terminator...I'll be back!

Wow! Longest nap EVER lol

2011-06-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

Billy Boy

2010-05-16T09:33:00.002-07:00

Congratulations little brother.
I love you and I'm very proud of you.

Class of 2010. First kid in our family to graduate from college. Your a wonderful and extremely intelligent young man Billy. Here's to a promising future full of life changing
achievements and memorable moments.
Good luck and never forget how special you are.

♥- kathy

Dear Satan,

2010-03-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

Mother, you are everything BEAUTIFUL, BOLD, STRONG, COOL, UNIQUE, TOUGH, CLASSY, EXPENSIVE, HARD WORKING, LOYAL, LOVING, MEAN AND MONSTER.

Age is only a number.
A number you hate to share with ANYONE...
including your kids HAHAHA.
You really are gorgeous and only get better with age...
I mean it.

Thank you for being the best Mom a couple of food lovin kids like us could ask for.
No one loves us like you do. We are forever grateful and fearful of you lol

Happy Birthday Toots.

ps...we know what your birthday wish is.
we promise to loose weight one day LOL

To: My Luvsong Coconut Baby Peet♥

2010-03-24T20:06:00.001-07:00

you are my world.
if you hurt, I hurt, we all hurt.
hope you feel better soon little buddy♥

Loteria♥

2010-03-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

Who didn't LOVE playing Loteria as a kid!?
Didn't have pennies? NO WORRIES! Beans worked just fine haha

This is a party FAVE. Gets people excited and on the edge of their seats especially towards the end. Gets them even crazier when there's cash involved or a prize of some sort.

THINGS YOU'LL NEED:
1. beans or pennies to use as your "bingo dots"
2. a volunteer to read the Spanish Lottery cards out loud
(your white friend will do just fine lol TRUST ME...hilarious)
3. gamble money (quarters are the way to go!) OR dollar bills for those baller status buddies of yours that aren't being affected by the financial crisis going on in America :) hehe

I remember laughing as a kid with my cousins cause you could see the mermaids boobies lol

My moment...

2009-11-22T11:08:00.000-08:00

to shine, to glow, to love, to feel alive, was given to me with time.

I wish for you to be my Bday Cake♥

2009-09-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

Googled LOL pics by Me and Eddy part 1

2009-09-25T15:10:00.000-07:00

Eddy-"Dude those are cocks!" LMAO hahahaha
Me-"eww dude thats fucken gross but super artistic" lol

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

2009-08-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

The happiest place on earth decided to pump up the price of admission for the hundredth time since 1955
$72 just for a single day park ticket
I cannot believe it

$97 for a ONE DAY park hopper ticket

$143 for a TWO DAY park hopper ticket

I don't know guys
I'm completely flabbergasted by this

check this out

it increased 3-6 bucks every year after that
gosh, I suddenly feel naked
and homeless

Why Disney Why!!!!?
I mean they're obviously aware of the economic crisis AMERICA is going through
right?
what could have caused this?
could it have been...

overpopulation of strollers and infants!?
I knew there was a valid reason behind this preposterous admission disgrace!

THANK YOU STROLLER MOMSTERS!
SEE! I knew this day would come.
JUST REMEMBER ONE THING LADY
your kid won't remember shit!
thanks a lot
ugh...back to working two jobs just to feel the magic.

maybe now with those extra millions they can finally
oh i don't know PLANT MORE TREES or TENTS FOR LONG LINES IN THE HOT SUN!
OH YEAH and maybe afford to add some FLAVOR TO THERE EXPENSIVE FOOD!!!
like SALT! hahaha

this is an abomination

Gurrrl I need me a man

2009-07-16T00:25:00.000-07:00

now all you need is a little bit of this

and just like that

you got yourself a man

a rat
HAHAHAHA

Hey Kat, What'cha get your Grandpa for Fathers Day?

2009-06-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

My Grampa a.k.a MACHO MAN is a big FAN of
Pan Dulce ("Mexican Sweet Bread")
He eats it every morning
after lunch
sometimes even as a midnight snack, haha.
So since Fathers day was approaching I was lost on what to get him but quickly remembered a sweet little Rockabilly Chicano store my little brother introduced me
to down in Uptown Whittier, CA.
There it was...the CHEESIEST most PERFECT gift MACHO MAN would LOVE
and surely get a kick out of...

"Concha Mirror Fuzzies"

♥They even come in a pink pastry box♥

he loved it.
(he thought they were ear muffs at first haha)

Now he can sport his favorite dessert inside his big red truck as he cruises down his senior citizen complex like a true bread pimp lol.
Love you Grandpa♥

Don't litter, make the streets glitter*

2009-06-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

People, if there's one thing that I really really hate, is folks that LITTER.
its disgusting, ill-mannered and just plain DISRESPECTFUL to our streets, to our WORLD.

Don't let me catch yah doing it cause I'll HIGH BEAM YOUR ASS and pull my nose up at you like a pig,
YOU PIG!

I've seen it all, the dirty diapers, half full yogurt cups, sodas, cigarette butts, beer bottles, fast food bags etc... some of these things I've seen thrown out of moving cars.
HOW CAN YOU DO THIS, HOW CAN THEY DO THIS?
stop being a freakin GARBAGE PAIL KID and throw away your crap!

They should have harsher punishment laws for these rats. YES RATS.
oh, I can go on for days! Rats, Roaches, rapist of planets!

PRISON, I say. haha
and while there at it, they should throw in all the Cholos, Hookers, Druggies, child abusers, and Political Parties in there aswell! To hell with all the people who contribute in making our planet unbecoming and unfit to raise children in and live a safe clean life. Shame on you!

yes, Thank you Eddy J. for coming up with the Tittle of this blog (he threaten to sue me if I didn't give him credit haha) you little bastard lol

12:00pm LUNCH TIME! diet? what diet?

2009-06-22T21:54:00.000-07:00

You can only imagine how hard it is working with the WHOLE Family and waiting for the clock to strike twelve for our half hour lunch break to start.
Those 30 minutes might just be the BEST 30 minutes we as brothers and sisters have ever experienced, cause truth is...

WE LOVE TO EAT

So here's the nitty gritty of our brake today...

It's Monday so naturally like many middle class Americans, we pigged out all weekend long, felt bad, talked amongst ourselves, realized how many times this happens and how many times the cycle of our piggishness ways repeats itself and decided to TAKE ACTION
(for real this time...lol) and eat a healthy meal for lunch.

we were set...
we were focused...

as we pulled into the plaza that leads to "El Pollo Loco" our dreams of eating healthy were RUINED :(

15 cars in the drive-thru!
15!
not counting the 30+ people inside the small joint.

we were like "Oh hell-to the-NO"
we only have 30 minutes yo!

next thing you know...the FAT spirits broke through the holy barrier we worked so hard to build and just like that...BAM!!!

!!!Lets go to Carl's Jr!!!

HAHAHA

we'll get on a diet tomorrow...promise.

Remember the game M.A.S.H ? I sure do!

2009-06-04T17:00:00.000-07:00

I was pretty much the girl that ended up living in a Shack, Marrying the school janitor instead of my dreamy classmate, popping out 7 kids, and driving the neighborhood ice cream truck.

who could EVER forget THAT haha

15 years later...

I'm living at home, single, no kids, and hoping the ice cream truck drives by my house lol.

WARNING!

2009-05-30T20:14:00.001-07:00

MEN...
KEEP AWAY FROM THIS LADY

OR SHE WILL EAT YOUR DICK

I'm serious, she will eat it for breakfast, lunch AND dinner.
Chorizo burritos all the way haha

It is my pleasure to introduce to you, Thee ever popular Paquita Del Barrio
She is one of Mexico's most looked upon Ranchera songstress, especially among female audiences.
She is Legend, she is emotion, she is shot after shot of tequila, she is MAN HATER.

With songs titles such as these:
Ratas de Dos Patas ("Two-legged Rat")
Tres Veces te Engañe ("Deceived you three times")

and her signature phrase

¿Me estás oyendo, inútil?
("Are you listening to me, you good-for-nothing?")

you kidding? who wouldn't wana date this brod?

This beautiful monster of a lady is nothing short of fantastic.
Her music can bring a gal to tears and a man to his knees.
The emotion in her lyrics and performance remind us how fragile ones heart is and how heartbreak is universal at times.

oh Paquita! you work that moo-moo so well! *spank*

(now on the count of three, take out those Spanish to English translators!)
a treat for you my lovelies...enjoy*

ps..."El GRITO Mexicano"
A very popular shout thats performed when Rancheras are played
(this video is HILARIOUS. Not the BEST shout OBVIOUSLY but it brought the LOL's)

this one's a cutie hahaha

damn! got a sudden craving for Tacos!

I'm not gaaaaaay! But What I really wana do is act!

2009-05-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

(please wait for the YouTube video to show)

HAHAHAHAHAHA very funny "BEST WEEK EVER"
hilarious

great acting skills Adam!

"pull and down" 1:09-1:10 mark

that doesn't sound GAY at allllll!

is it me or does Adam sound A LOT like "Vita" (Patrick Swayze) from the movie

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

kinda looks like him too don't yah think? hahaha

Adam is such a fine and talented young man...

balls in the mouth or not!

oh yeah, almost forgot

*ring *ring *ring

Adam, your probably the ONLY WHITE BOY that can pull off the black hair, black nails, guyliner, drag queen makeup, and those boy on boy make out scenes better than anyone else

and still, keep us guessing.

when will we know the truth

AMERICA WANTS TO KNOW

this baby is AMERICA

make him happy Adam.

lol

Hola, Me llamo Kathy and I apparently have a small lisp , Oh! (almost forgot) I sound really MEXICAN too (the nerve) haha

2009-05-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

"talking to guys you meet online on the phone"

BASED ON TRUE EVENTS

soooooo I thought I'd give the online dating scene a try and to my surprise, I've met some pretty nice guys!ehem...ONLINE that is, and its been hilarious to see how easy it is for someone to express themselves so openly through emails and instant messaging and then completely FREEZE & turn into MUTES once an open invitation is given to meet up in person or talk on the phone.

its exhausting haha...

(this is how I roll!...I don't do the SHY quiet girl, stares into the night owl eyes look...I DELIVER!) lol.

.sigh.
So to TOP off those frustrating positions I get myself into in hopes of finding the man of the hour

whispers* this happens...

el hombre-hello? is this Kat?

la mujer- hey there! this is Kat! haha, how are you fella?

el hombre- good____5 second silence_____how are you?

la mujer- I'm great! thanks for calling me! I'm really glad you did!

el hombre- umm_____silence_____yeah.....sure_____silence_____anytime.

(rolls eyes at this point...be nice kat)

la mujer- Thanks for the email by the way, I loved reading your review on those museums, I definitely have to check them out one day.

el hombre- yeah_____silence_____for sure.

la mujer- are you comfortable? you sound really nervous haha.

el hombre- oh_____silence_____ no I'm a little nervous haha.

la mujer- haha.

el hombre- you_____silence_____don't sound anything like I thought you would from looking at your pictures and the conversations we've had____5 second silence_____ .

la mujer- haha I'm sorry? haha how dooo I sound?

el hombre- you sound _____silence_____ REALLY MEXICAN.

your kidding me. ..
THE END lol

This has happened to me about 3 times now haha

I've gotten the
"you sound like a CHOLA"
"you sound MEXICAN"
& "you sound really HISPANIC" LMAO!
Its not that it bothers me much
it bothers me... a little.

I'm obviously HISPANIC you DUMB-ASS!
hahahaha
it only says it on whatever profile/site we met on
and I've only mentioned it
on our convos about our backgrounds and culture
IDIOTA!
lol

Not only is it RUDE
its a major TURN OFF.

DO I SOUND LIKE GEORGE LOPEZ OR SOMETHING?

hahaha

so after hours of laughing it out with my little brother and older sister
jokes were cracked and they even baptized me with the name
"Mexican Child"

Tests were given
voice recorded
sentences were read
My life and Accent were in the hands of two professionals

the results are in
I aperantly have a small lisp
That could be whats causing my
MEXICAN ACCENT Dysmorphia
good thing we Mexicans pray to more Gods and Saints than anyone else
I'll need double the help to get me out of this one
lol

my LOVE LIFE is on the line dammit!

Adiyos! Amigos!

November 14, 1983, baby Kat is born...God help us

2009-05-28T12:53:00.000-07:00